Well here I am again writing yet another entry. It's not that I'm getting bored with this thing, it's just that I have so many thoughts running through my head that typing them down just doesn't seem fast enough. So many people here recently have been pissing me off, but yet there are so many new friends I have been making and it's been really nice to spend time with them.

The days are really starting to go by fast and that's a very good thing. The sooner I graduate, the sooner I can get out of this boring base. I hope not all bases are like this because it does get pretty boring here. I sometimes feel like a hermit cause I'm always in my room playing on my laptop or watching a DVD. I don't have a car so it's not like I can go anywhere. I do have a few buds that have cars, but there really isn't that much to do here in this small town.

I finally went off base Saturday and watched The Matrix Reloaded. It was a nice change of scenery. It was great to finally leave base in my civilian clothing and enjoy "normal" activities. I LOVED the movie too! Wow...I wouldn't say it was better than the first because the first is a classic in my mind, but it was very very good and the storyline blew my mind. They kind of went a little too overboard with the effects, you could definetely tell what was CGI and what wasn't.

Let's see...I've been smoking again. I know, I know, I'm a horrible person and I'm gonna die a young age. Personally, I don't care. It was so nice to finally relieve some stress and smoke some cigarettes and chat with my friends. I'm already regretting it because PC yesterday sucked when we had to run two miles. My throat was burning like a mofo. Oh well. We have the timed run tomorrow and hopefully I will make it. I NEED to start going to the gym damnitt!! I'm becoming a lazy airman and that's not cool!!

I've been spending my money like crazy too. It's actually nice to HAVE money. I mean, anything I could ask for it already payed for here. We get free food, a free place to live, free "work" clothes. I've been buying CD's and DVD's left and right. Today I bought Justin Guarini's CD, Ruben and Clay's single, and this new group called Opera Babes. They are two opera singers and they rock!! They remind me of Sarah Brightman because they sing opera over a techno beat. It's pretty cool. I know I'm gonna get some looks and comments from people who look in my room. I could care less.

I offically start class tomorrow!! I'm excited, but kind of nervous. I really need to focus and study my ass off to pass. A LOT of people got washed back today and that worries me. I hear horror stories of people washing back and it just makes me think...if these smart people wash back...could I?? I dunno, I try not to think about it that much because then I might jinx it all. I just got to tell myself that the sooner I start class, the sooner I am out of here and I can enjoy the beauitful weather of Hawaii!!

So no luck in the love department. Everyone here is so sex crazy, it's ridiculous! I just wanna cuddle with someone and be held in the arms of someone. I wanna stare into someone's eyes. I could honesly care less about the sex. Hell yeah I want some good sex, but it takes time. I just want some good making out sessions and cuddling time.

Some of my so-called friends think I have changed...and they won't necessarily say if I've changed for the better or for the worse. I do agree that I kinda act differently here but who the fuck cares! I'm still gonna be myself. I'm not gonna care what people think of me. I went off on someone today because he made fun of the way I talk. I'm sorry he's sexually frustrated because he has no personality.

There was this really hott guy on base today and I kept seeing his face. I don't even know if he's in the service, but I hope he is. He's freakin hott!! My radar went off with him too. Hehehe...I STILL GOT IT! And NO, I'm not turning straight...I'm just beginning to realize that both sexes are attractive and there is nothing wrong with being attracted to both. That is all I'm going to say. I shouldn't have to defend myself here! As long as I'm happy it shouldn't fucking matter who I sleep with.

I get lonely sometimes and I just wish I could have someone to relate to here. I'm not regretting anything...just wishing things could be different. I wish I could be honest and not have to deal with the stupid consequences set forth by the homophobic government. I have everything I could ever ask for...cept for a partner.

"Every pilot needs a co-pilot."